Green With Envy

Last week, I was researching different entrepreneurs for a project I’m working on. Among a bunch of impressive women was this one whose website I was clicking through. As I was looking at all of her offers, branding, experience, photos, etc. I found myself having tingles of envy.

When those feelings arise, my friend’s voice rings through my head: envy is a mirror that reflects our own desires and insecurities. She ain’t wrong.

I think it’s common to associate envy as a negative thing; either something we want to hide or suppress. It acknowledges a weakness or insecurity that should actually be tended to rather than skimmed over.

As I was sitting there looking at her stuff, I asked myself why I was feeling like this and what about her made me feel this way. In fact, it has crossed my mind several times since then, hence why I’m writing about it a week later.🤪

SO, here are some questions and prompts I’m using to explore what my envy is telling me:

Questions to dig a little deeper

1. What exactly do I envy in this person or situation?

   • Identify the specific qualities, achievements, or possessions that trigger your envy.

2. Why do I want what they have?

   • Consider the underlying reasons for your envy. Is it about status, recognition, security, or something else?

3. How would having this change my life?

   • Imagine how your life would be different if you had what you envy. This can help you understand the deeper motivations behind your desires.

4. What does my envy say about my self-perception?

   • Analyze how your envy might be linked to feelings of inadequacy or self-worth. What negative beliefs about yourself does this envy reinforce?

5. In what areas do I feel I am lacking compared to others?

   • Identify the specific areas where you feel inferior or insecure.

6. How do I react to my envy?

   • Observe your emotional and behavioral responses to envy. Do you withdraw, criticize, or try to compete? Understanding your reactions can provide insights into your coping mechanisms.

7. What fears does my envy uncover?

   • Consider what fears are driving your envy. Are you afraid of failure, rejection, being left behind?

Prompts for self-reflection

1. Write about a recent experience of envy.

   • Describe a specific incident where you felt envious. Detail the situation, your thoughts, and your emotions.

2. List the qualities or achievements of someone you envy, either from the recent experience or elsewhere.

   • Make a list of what you admire and envy in this person. For each item, ask yourself why it matters to you and what it represents.

3. Imagine you have what you envy.

   • Visualize yourself in the position of having what you envy. Write about how it feels, how it changes your life, and whether it truly fulfills you.

4. Consider the positive aspects of your own life.

   • Write about your own strengths, achievements, and qualities. Compare these to the things you envy and reflect on how they align with your personal values and goals.

5. Set goals based on your envy.

   • Identify realistic and attainable goals that align with what you envy. Write a plan for how you can work towards achieving these goals, focusing on self-improvement rather than comparison. Start with baby steps!

6. Explore the origins.

   • Reflect on past experiences or societal influences that might have shaped your current desires and insecurities. Understanding the roots of your envy can help you address and overcome it.

Take what would help you and leave the rest. See where it gets you!

XO,

Holland