To Be Alive

I was listening to “Be Alive,” Beyoncé’s song in association with the King Richard film. It was during what I call my “witching hour” and I was doing my nightly stretches (about 11:30 pm). My feet were perched up on the wall, I had my hands out to my sides, and my eyes were shut. The volume was up probably a little higher than it should’ve been.

“It feels so good to be alive…I got a millions miles on me, they want to see how far I’ll go.” Sheeeesh! I was laying there, blood draining from my feet into my head, and I was overcome with emotion.

In this moment, I get waves to sadness from injustices and hatred that’s active every minute of everyday. Every minute since the beginning of the human existence. A pit sinks into my core and guilt, sadness, and despair floods my mind’s eye from top to bottom, left to right.

Now here’s the thing: I am a mostly white young woman with a positive, safe, and opportune upbringing with more privilege than I could imagine. I understand that I can barely even comprehend the injustices that are acted upon on a micro- or macro-level all the time, everywhere.

It’s important to use your privilege for what you believe in and what you know is right. But today I’m wanting to focus on the simple fact that I’m alive. I’m breathing. You’re breathing reading this. You woke up this morning and went on with your day all the way to this very blog post. You’re looking at a screen likely mindlessly breathing through your nose with furrowed brows and tense shoulders.

I’m pointing this out because we go through our days hardly remembering to be gracious of the fact that we’re conscious and breathing and learning and growing every second of everyday. I forget this for days on end—going through the motions of my day-to-day and what I expect to happen from one moment to the next.

Going back to Beyoncé’s song. Thinking about the basics of existence and life can help put these moments into perspective. Regardless of anything outside your current state of being, you are here in this moment and you have endless decisions ahead of you. You have blood pumping in your veins and a limitless mind.

Remind yourself that you’re alive. You’ve been through an immense amount of utter bullshit and you’ve made it to this point. That’s fucking. incredible. If nothing else goes as planned today and you’re sinking into your seat as your disappointment grows, remember that you have the remaining of the day and the fresh start of tomorrow to get you moving in the right direction.

XO,

HMC